no-judgement

And the voice in your head should not sound like Simon Cowell. The worst thing you can do for yourself is attach negative judgment to the way you are feeling. Has any of this ever sounded like you? (Cue critical Simon Cowell’s, British accented voice)

– Why am I feeling like this when I felt great yesterday, I will never get better

– Why can’t I just be happy?

– Why am I feeling like this, what is wrong with me

Give yourself a break! Look at it this way, when you are feeling happy and joyous do you sit there and say “Why am I feeling happy?” Do you analyze the fact that yesterday you did not feel as happy but today you do? No you just feel happy and you go with it. Other feelings and emotions should be no different. Feel them, go with them. Fighting against them only makes them stronger. Ride it out without judgment. Instead try speaking compassionately to yourself. Tell yourself it is okay to feel this way, it is normal and emotions are ever changing and what you feel today will not necessarily be true tomorrow.

It has been said that what you resist, persists. So why not just sit with your emotions. Don’t try to force the feeling away because you know what usually ends up happening? You realize you cannot force it away and then start more judgment on yourself for not being able to make yourself feel better.

In my experience not dwelling on how I feel or judging it and just letting it be actually usually makes the undesirable emotion seem less strong. I use to go into frenzy when I felt anxious especially after a prolonged period of progress. I immediately thought I was going backwards and that this proved I would never get better and I judged myself so harshly and the judgment is what ended up sending me backwards, not the anxious feeling I had for a day.

I am not saying dismiss your feelings. I am only suggesting not attaching negative thoughts and judgment to them. Learn to live alongside of them. You may have moments of depression, panic, anxiety your entire life but the way you react to them can greatly change your experience with these conditions. Treating them like an enemy will do you no good.

You feel depressed? Ok feel depressed, you feel anxious, panicky, and fearful, so then feel them, truly feel them and let them be. Like my favorite author and Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh says (paraphrased), smile through your negative feelings. For every time you smile through them you lessen their strength. If you try to run from your pain, there is no way out.

So feel, breath and smile and don’t judge!

 

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