Happy Monday to all. I just realized that my last post was also a Music Monday. Back to back Music Mondays. Eeek. Note to self, write more during the other days of the week!
Today’s edition features a song so near and dear to me. Darlin Do Not Fear by Brett Dennen. This song does worlds for my anxiety and really just because of title line. The song itself is mellow and relaxing in true Brett Dennen fashion which doesn’t hurt. If you do not know him and crave mellow, feel good, calming music but not sleepy music, he may be your man.
For a long time this was the ONLY song I would play when starting to get anxious in the car or feelings of panic would rise. Let me break it down. The chorus goes ” Darlin do not fear, what you don’t really know, cause it won’t last, your worries will pass”.
Do not fear what you don’t really know. I repeat, do not fear, what you don’t really know. This logic really hits me in that sweet spot that turns anxious thoughts into empowering thoughts. This is how it goes.
I’m driving, something triggers an anxious thought, anxious thought turns into ON MY GOODNESS I feel faint, what if I pass out behind the wheel, what if I crash my car and die, what if I get to work and I still feel like this and I cannot function, what if my anxiety is back with vengeance and I need to get on medication and then I can’t wean off, what if what if what if what if what if. Darlin do not fear, what you don’t really know. Inhale, exhale. Darlin do not fear what you don’t really know.
Because isn’t anxiety most times getting wrapped up in hypotheticals. Fearing the unknown. The loss of control. Not knowing sometimes is the biggest trigger of anxiety. Or thinking you know what will happen. We should not fear things we do not know. It’s hard right because anxious people want to know, they want to feel in control, they want to own all the information in the world so they can be prepared. This song reminds me to let go of control and surrender. Surrendering control of the unknown feels good if you can get yourself to do it. Playing this song on repeat when I am struggling with that grounds me. It reminds me to take each moment as it comes and to not get wrapped up in fearing all these made up situations in my head and focus on what is real and what is in front of me and what I can control. My thoughts and my breath. (And yes I know controlling your thoughts is hard!)
Till next time ( promise, before Monday!)
I don’t know about you, but I imagine most anxiety sufferers are with me on this, most of my anxiety and anxious thoughts come from future, unknown, things/events that may or may not happen ( they usually don’t happen in my experience). The majority of my anxiety is anticipatory.
And sometimes it is about the past. Rarely if ever is it about the present moment happening live in front of my very eyes. When it is about the past it is usually about me getting upset about the fact that I have had anxiety breakdowns and then I tend to judge myself and then it jumps forward to the “What if” I get so bad again? I cannot remember a time I was anxious about what was happening. I live anywhere from 1 day to 50 years in the future. I rarely live in the day I am in ( sad). Even at my worst when I experienced depersonalization and extreme anxiety and panic to where I could not function, I still was focused ahead thinking “What if I feel like this forever?” Instead of tackling the triggers and symptoms of the day I was focused on the “forever” thought which led to more panic and anxiety. Rookie mistake.
Visualization techniques really work for me. So for times when I find myself anxious about something not happening, that may never happen, or has happened already in the past, I visualize the signs you see at the mall on the directory with the arrow that says “You Are Here”. It is how I remind myself that I am right here, I am not in the future nor the past, this is where I live. Right here. I had to do this a lot today, and that is okay. Having a visual helps me focus on something other than thoughts. Anytime I would find my mind wandering forward I had to repeatedly say ” You Are Here” and snap my focus back to only the things going on right now, right here. The past is gone, I cannot change that. The future can be greatly impacted by my outlook and perspective today so the very best anyone can ever do for themselves is make themselves awesome and strong in the present, and it will carry over into the future.
This works for me, maybe it will work for you when runaway mind is determined to predict the future and get there much faster than necessary. You Are Here